We Don’t Fake It ‘Til We Make It—We Make It ‘Til We Make It
“The Stage Is Hers”: Black woman center stage under a spotlight, standing tall and powerful, symbolizing women stepping into their light.
There’s a phrase people love to throw around: “Fake it ’til you make it.”
And every time I hear it, something in me tightens.
I know people mean well. And yes — sometimes imitation is part of how we learn and sharpen ourselves. It can be a powerful teacher — and “a form of flattery.”
But fake it ’til you make it is something entirely different.
Fake it ’til you make it pushes you into performance instead of process.
It teaches you to look the part instead of becoming the part.
It whispers that who you are right now isn’t enough — that you need to posture your way into rooms instead of entering them as your full, unfinished, growing self.
🔥 Here’s the truth:
You don’t have to fake anything to earn your place.
In the IMverse, we don’t perform our way into our purpose.
We step into our Seat — fully, unfinished, and anchored in truth.
We don’t fake confidence.
We Make It Real.
We grow into it.
We become it.
The Problem With “Fake It ’Til You Make It” Culture
Fake-it culture looks harmless on the surface. But underneath, it trains you to rely on image instead of identity, performance instead of process, and illusion instead of truth. In the IMverse, we pause here to unlearn the conditioning that tells us we must show up polished instead of present.
“Fake it ’til you make it” doesn’t encourage growth — it encourages performance over process.
It tells you to look confident instead of learning confidence.
It disconnects you from your Becoming.
It leads you away from your Origin Story and into someone else’s performance.
SIDE BAR: 💭 Sis, You’re a Unicorn
Listen… I know there may be moments where you don’t feel as powerful as you look.
There may be times you worry you’re not ready enough, polished enough, or confident enough to carry the kind of leadership rising in you.
There may be days when you replay conversations in your head — wondering if you shared too much… or held too much back.
And there may be seasons when your courage flickers, when your doubt gets loud, and when the shine you show the world feels a little quieter in private.
But Girl — listen.
🔥 You are one of one.
🔥 You were built for rooms you haven’t even stepped into yet.
🔥 You’re not waiting on permission — you ARE the permission.
Everything you need is already in you.
Lean in. Anchor yourself.
And then?
Pop. Yo’. Ish.
Because they have no idea how you’re about to show up…
and even less idea how you’re about to show out.
“The Weight of Doubt” — A Visual Story of Imposter Syndrome: A comic book–style illustration showing a golden balance scale. On one side, stacks of books, diplomas, and a trophy represent success. On the other side, a smaller, anxious Black woman with chocolate-brown skin and natural hair sits in a pan labeled “DOUBT.” The warm orange lighting and deep shadows highlight the emotional contrast, symbolizing how imposter syndrome makes doubt feel heavier than achievement.
When Performance Becomes Your Prison
Performance feels safe until it becomes the cage you can’t breathe inside. Many ambitious women live in this tension: external excellence, internal confusion. This is where IMverse truth-telling frees you.
When you fake confidence instead of building it…
When you fake authority instead of earning it…
When you fake belonging instead of becoming…
You build a life where you’re always waiting to be “found out.”
But listen — learning is not a liability.
It’s part of your Becoming.
Pretending is the prison.
Truth is the door.
“The Fear of Falling”: A woman climbs a glowing ladder toward the words “You Earned This,” while shadowy hands labeled expectations and failure reach from below.
If You’re Always Acting, When Do You Become?
Growth and performance ask two different things of you. Performance asks for polish. Growth asks for vulnerability. And only one of those leads to transformation.
Acting teaches you to rely on image.
Becoming teaches you to rely on identity.
When you fake it:
You avoid questions
You avoid help
You avoid risk
…because your energy is invested in protecting the performance instead of cultivating the skill.
When you step back into Becoming?
You reclaim clarity, direction, and momentum.
“The Loop”: Several versions of a woman run in a loop labeled “Prove Yourself Again,” symbolizing burnout from imposter syndrome.
We Make It ’Til We Make It: The IMverse Way
This is the shift — the “Work-to-Life” shift — where we stop grinding for belonging and start building from belonging. Where process becomes power and authenticity becomes authority.
So what do we do instead?
🔥 We show up as learners instead of pretending to be masters.
🔥 We grow instead of perform.
🔥 We trust that who we are right now is enough to begin.
This is Make It Real energy.
This is Infamous Mothers work.
We take up space as we are becoming — not as we think we should appear.
“You Built This”: A woman stands before a glowing city made of bricks labeled faith, vision, and discipline, symbolizing success built through effort.
What Making It Actually Looks Like
Making it is not glamorous. It’s gritty, rhythmic, iterative. It is the daily choice to return to your work, your values, and your Becoming.
Making it looks like:
🔹 Producing instead of performing
Send the draft. Post the clip. Start the business.
🔹 Honoring fear but moving anyway
Courage is motion — not perfection.
🔹 Letting early work be imperfect
Iteration is how mastery is born.
🔹 Being transparent with trusted people
Not the whole internet — just your anchor circle.
This is how you build confidence from the inside out.
The Real Work of Authentic Leadership
Authentic leadership is not about presenting well — it’s about living well. It’s about alignment, integrity, and the courage to stand rooted in your Seat even as you grow into it.
Leadership isn’t about knowing everything.
It’s about being willing to discover.
It’s about:
Asking better questions
Building real relationships
Taking meaningful risks
Growing faster because you’re not pretending
This is feminist mothering.
This is personal authority.
This is leadership rooted in self-value.
Your Journey Is Your Credential
In a world obsessed with arrival stories, we honor Becoming stories. Your process is power. Your evolution is evidence.
Your journey is a receipt.
Your evolution is proof.
Your Becoming is the credential.
You don’t need to pretend you’ve always been where you are.
Your process carries its own authority.
Breaking Free from Performance Mode
These are the practices that shift you from performing to Becoming — from illusion to Integration, from pretending to Making It Real.
1. Get Honest About Where You Are
Naming your place is the beginning of power.
2. Focus on Process Over Performance
Ask:
Am I trying to look good or get good?
3. Ship Your Work, Imperfect As It Is
Perfection delays purpose.
4. Build Skills in Public
Document your Becoming.
Let people see your growth — not your performance.
Inside Gateway Coaching, this is the work we do:
We move women from performing to Make It Real living.
Dr. Sagashus inviting you into the IMverse through the Wanted Newsletter or coaching.
The Power of Making It Real
The moment you stop pretending, transformation begins. This is where your life shifts — quietly, powerfully, permanently.
When you commit to making it — not faking it — everything changes.
You stop asking, “Do I look like I belong?”
And start asking, “What am I mastering so I can belong to myself first?”
You stop performing success.
You start building it — brick by brick, truth by truth.
Your Declaration: I Make It ’Til I Make It
I don’t fake confidence; I build it.
I don’t perform belonging; I grow into my Seat.
I don’t pretend; I Make It Real.
I make it ’til I make it — anchored, aligned, and without apology.
FAQ SECTION
1. Why is “fake it ’til you make it” harmful?
Because it teaches performance instead of process, disconnects you from your Becoming, and fuels imposter syndrome.
2. What’s the alternative to faking confidence?
Building confidence — through practice, process, Asking Better Questions, and showing up to your Becoming.
3. Why do ambitious women feel pressure to perform?
Because we were socialized to earn belonging by looking perfect instead of learning out loud.
4. How do I start “making it” instead of faking it?
Start by naming where you are, shipping imperfect work, seeking real support, and focusing on integration over image.
5. How does Gateway Coaching support this shift?
Gateway moves women from performance to presence — through identity work, self-value, and the Make It Real practice.
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers