Girl, Stop Hiding Behind Your Accomplishments and Start Realizing You're Enough
Black woman in her 30s sits at a small table in a city apartment, gazing at an old photo of a glamorous Black woman while dollar bills, a book, and a mug rest in warm copper light, symbolizing money, lineage, and legacy.
Some years ago, I was talking to a friend. She told me how every time she went back home to Chicago, she would tell everyone about her adventures on the East Coast at her fancy all-women’s college—how she had earned two master’s degrees, a PhD, written books, lectured at prestigious institutions.
And no one seemed to care.
She noticed the same thing in her dating life. No one was impressed by the credentials. No one cared about her degrees, her titles, or her résumé.
At first, she thought the issue was them. They weren’t intellectual enough. They weren’t ambitious enough. They didn’t understand what she had accomplished.
But the more I listened, the more I realized: the issue wasn’t her education or her success.
🔥 The issue was that she was leading with it.
She wasn’t showing up as a person—she was showing up as a résumé.
And the truth is, a lot of us do the same thing.
The Mask of Success: What Are You Really Hiding?
We think that if we lead with our accomplishments, people won’t see…
✔️ The chronic illness we battle every day.
✔️ The brokenness left by failed relationships.
✔️ The mommy issues we still haven’t healed from.
✔️ How desperate we are to be loved.
✔️ How terrified we are of failing.
✔️ That no matter how polished we look, we still believe we are dirty.
✔️ That we’re still trying to prove we are somebody in a world that told us we’d never be anybody.
✔️ That we are not the things they called us—fast, slow, ignorant, dumb…the reason for poverty.
We use our degrees, our businesses, our titles as proof that we made it. That we are not what they said we were. That we are not who they tried to make us believe we were.
But what happens when the mask cracks? When the degrees don’t silence the voice in your head telling you that you’re still not enough?
Because that’s what no one tells us:
🔥 No amount of success will heal what you haven’t faced.
🔥 No award, paycheck, or accolade can undo what was done to you.
🔥 No title can quiet the doubts that were planted in you long before you had one.
So we lead with what we can prove.
We perform excellence because we don’t want anyone to see the mess.
We polish ourselves up because we don’t want anyone to know we still feel dirty.
We overachieve because we’re still trying to prove we belong.
And even if it works—even if they buy the illusion—we still don’t feel whole.
Because deep down, we know:
🔥 We built a life that looks powerful—but we still feel powerless.
🔥 We created an identity that looks unstoppable—but we still feel unworthy.
🔥 We became everything we were told we couldn’t be—but we still don’t believe it.
And if we don’t deal with that?
If we don’t face the real work—the healing, the self-acceptance, the truth—then all we’re left with is a counterfeit version of ourselves.
A version that’s performing instead of living.
A version that’s proving instead of being.
A version that’s celebrated—but never fully seen.
And, sis, you deserve to be seen.
Not just for what you do.
Not just for what you’ve accomplished.
But for who you are.
And the moment you realize that?
🔥 That’s when you stop hiding behind your success and start standing in your power.
And you might as well because what you’re doing— that thing that so many of us do— people see right through it.
Maybe they don’t see what we don’t want them to see.
But what they do see?
🔥 That we’re annoying, always trying to be the smartest one in the room.
🔥 That we’re out of touch, unable to connect beyond our credentials.
🔥 That we’re performing, leading with what we’ve done instead of who we are.
They may not be able to put their finger on it, but they know something about us feels off.
Something about us feels too polished, too rehearsed, too curated.
Something about us feels like an imitation—a knock-off version of something real.
And because of that?
🔥 We don’t feel genuine.
🔥 We don’t feel safe.
🔥 We don’t feel like someone they can truly trust.
Because at the end of the day, people don’t connect with perfection—they connect with truth.
And if we’re hiding behind our success, what are we really saying about who we are without it?
SIDE BAR: 💭 Sis, You Were Always the “Her”
Sis, let’s be clear:
Your résumé is impressive.
But you were the flex before any of that.
Before the degrees.
Before the titles.
Before the business.
There was a girl who survived things people will never know.
There was a woman who kept going when quitting would’ve made sense.
🔥 That woman is the miracle — not the credentials.
Your accomplishments are evidence, not identity.
They’re receipts, not your root.
You are not powerful because of what you’ve done.
You are powerful because of who you are.
Don’t you ever forget:
You were enough before the accomplishments.
You are enough outside of them.
You’ll be enough long after them.
The Counterfeit Version of Ourselves
The problem isn’t success. The problem is when we use success as a shield.
Because when we do that, we’re not just building careers—we’re building walls.
We create distance between ourselves and the people we say we want to serve.
We make it harder for people to connect with us, trust us, see us.
We turn our accomplishments into a mask—one we hide behind instead of living fully and authentically.
And the irony?
🔥 The very thing we think should earn us respect, admiration, and connection becomes the reason people pull away.
Because people don’t trust perfection. They trust what’s real.
The Cost of Leading With Our Success
When we lead with our accomplishments, we assume they give us a pass on everything else.
✔️ We think our credentials mean we don’t have to keep learning.
✔️ We think our résumé means we don’t have to build real relationships.
✔️ We think our status exempts us from doing the actual work.
✔️We think the respect we’ve earned means we don’t have to do more work around healing.
But here’s the truth:
🔥 Your degree isn’t a pass.
🔥 Your awards aren’t a free ride.
🔥 Your success isn’t an excuse to stop growing.
And if you let them be? You’ll wake up one day realizing that your success gave you everything except the one thing you actually needed—a real connection.
The Work That Still Needs to Be Done
A lot of us thought that once we made it—once we got the degree, the promotion, the business, the status—the hard part would be over.
But the truth is, the real work starts now.
Because success doesn’t erase:
❌ The loneliness.
❌ The insecurities.
❌ The imposter syndrome.
❌ The wounds we’ve carried since before we even got here.
If anything, success exposes those things even more.
So, the question isn’t What have you accomplished?
The question is:
🔥 What have you healed?
🔥 What have you worked on that isn’t about work?
🔥 What are you bringing back to the people you love—beyond status and accolades?
Because if you’re using success as a mask, then what happens when you have to take it off?
The Call to Action: It’s Time to Take the Mask Off
This isn’t about giving up success.
This isn’t about downplaying what you’ve earned.
This is about choosing to be whole instead of just accomplished.
This is about learning to see yourself beyond what you do.
This is about deciding that you are enough—with or without the accolades.
So let’s stop hiding behind the trophies.
Let’s stop shrinking behind the degrees.
Let’s stop using our résumés as shields.
🔥 You were enough before the accomplishments.
🔥 You are enough outside of them.
🔥 And you will be enough long after them.
And once you realize that? That’s when the real success begins.
A woman sitting with herself, reflecting on the questions that surfaced from what she just read.
FAQ Section
Q. What does it mean to “hide behind your accomplishments”?
It means using your degrees, titles, achievements, or résumé as a shield — a way to avoid vulnerability, rejection, or being truly seen. It means leading with what you’ve done because you’re not sure people will value who you are.
It’s self-protection disguised as professionalism.
Q. Why do high-achieving women do this?
Because many of us were raised in environments where being smart, successful, or “the one who made it out” was our only safety.
For Black women, first-generation women, and women carrying generational trauma:
🔥 success becomes armor
🔥 achievement becomes proof
🔥 excellence becomes survival
We learned early: If I perform well enough, they can’t say I’m nothing.
But that lesson has a cost.
Q. What are we usually hiding when we lead with accomplishments?
Often, we’re hiding:
our insecurities
old wounds from childhood
shame we’ve never spoken aloud
fear of not being enough without the accolades
a desire to be loved without working for it
exhaustion from always being “the strong one”
unresolved trauma we’ve decorated with degrees
Success doesn’t erase these things. It just buries them.
Q: What’s wrong with being proud of my accomplishments?
Nothing — unless you’re using them to avoid intimacy, honesty, or real connection.
Achievements should be extensions of who you are, not substitutions for who you are.
The problem isn’t success.
The problem is hiding behind it.
Q: What’s the first step to stop hiding behind my accomplishments?
Tell yourself the truth.
Ask:
Who am I without my résumé?
What am I afraid people will see?
Why do I need these accomplishments to feel worthy?
What would it look like to show up as a whole person?
The moment you ask those questions, the mask starts to crack —
and your real self finally has room to breathe.
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers