Are You Leading for Real — or Just Playing the Role?
Black woman in her 30s sits at a small table in a city apartment, gazing at an old photo of a glamorous Black woman while dollar bills, a book, and a mug rest in warm copper light, symbolizing money, lineage, and legacy.
A Story About Money, Legacy, and Leadership
Let me tell you something the long way — because that’s how truth lives for many of us. I’ve always loved making money. Not in the shallow sense, not in the “look at me” sense, but in the way a woman who knows her lineage understands that money is power, choice, oxygen.
I talk about this in the prologue of A Pot to P*ss In: My great-grandmother was a madame in Cairo, Illinois. The respectable world never knows what to do with a truth like that. But I understood it early.
When society boxed Black women into cleaning other people’s homes, raising other people’s children, and surviving off whatever wages were handed to them, she made a different choice. She conjured her own economic autonomy — not because she lacked morality, but because she craved freedom.
Her choices then expanded my choices now. And what I know is this:
Wealth is self-determination.
And leadership grows from the same soil.
As a child I sold cookies and snow cones, not for survival but for joy. As a young adult, I ran a candy store out of my apartment. I loved the business of it all:
🔥 Buying in bulk
🔥 Studying people
🔥 Testing ideas
🔥 Turning one dollar into ten
I loved the creation. The strategy. The power of taking something imagined and making it real.
That instinct was the beginning of my leadership journey — long before I ever stepped into a room and said the word “leader.”
Black girl around twelve smiles and takes money at a sidewalk stand filled with snow cones and cookies, copper-gold energy glowing around her hands and cash box to show the joy and early leadership of a young hustler.
Choosing Alignment Over Performance
At some point, I realized something deeply important about myself:
🔥 I did not want to run a nonprofit.
Not because nonprofits can’t be powerful or profitable — many are. But because I wanted alignment. And clarity.
I love doing good.
I love doing well.
I love making impact.
I love making money.
I never wanted to build a brand that made me look like something smaller or narrower than the truth of who I am. Afterall, we are among those whose leadership is earned, not handed out.
That requires clarity. And clarity is a form of self-respect.
Young Black woman in her 20s leans over a candy-filled apartment table, writing in a notebook while glowing copper-gold symbols float above the page, showing her strategy and money magic as an alchemist of ideas.
The Question That Shifted My Understanding of Leadership
Recently at the 365 Leadership Summit — Leadership, Unscripted — someone asked me:
“What does it mean to be a leader?”
In the moment, I said:
“Visionary.”
True, but not complete.
Because here’s something many won’t admit:
The barrier to being seen as a leader is beautifully low.
A message.
A moment.
A mic.
A vision someone can believe in.
Black woman in her 30s with a big natural afro stands on a small stage speaking into a microphone as a smooth ribbon of golden sound energy arcs over an audience of Black women and soft copper-gold light orbs glow above their heads.
“Make America Great.”
“I Have a Dream.”
We elect presidents on hope.
We build movements on possibility.
We follow people whose words evoke something ancient in us.
This isn’t critique; it’s observation.
Vision is accessible. But authentic leadership — the kind women with layered stories carry?
That is forged. People often have to go through the fire to get that.
🔥 Vision + action
🔥 Vision + courage
🔥 Vision + vulnerability
🔥 Vision + integrity
When I coach women in the IMverse, so much of the work is about seeing the value of who we became by going through the things we’ve gone through. And if we know how to leverage those things properly, there’s no need to perform because we’re solid.
We don’t imitate — we innovate.
We don’t shrink — we disrupt.
We don’t erase our past — we alchemize it.
We don’t perform leadership — we embody it.
SIDE BAR: 💭 Sis, You’re a Unicorn
Listen… I know there may be moments where you don’t feel as powerful as you look.
There may be times you worry you’re not ready enough, polished enough, or confident enough to carry the kind of leadership rising in you.
There may be days when you replay conversations in your head — wondering if you shared too much… or held too much back.
And there may be seasons when your courage flickers, when your doubt gets loud, and when the shine you show the world feels a little quieter in private.
But Girl — listen.
🔥 You are one of one.
🔥 You were built for rooms you haven’t even stepped into yet.
🔥 You’re not waiting on permission — you ARE the permission.
Everything you need is already in you.
Lean in. Anchor yourself.
And then?
Pop. Yo’. Ish.
Because they have no idea how you’re about to show up…
and even less idea how you’re about to show out.
Plus-size Black woman with locs stands at a huge window between the reflections of a cluttered nonprofit office and a warm modern brand wall, copper-gold light paths showing her calm choice for aligned leadership over performance.”
When Leadership Quietly Slips Into Performance
Let me say this with compassion: Every single one of us has performed leadership before.
Not from fakery.
Not from ego.
But from conditioning.
Some of us lead from fear.
Some from survival mode.
Some from insecurity.
Some from the stories we’ve been told about “strong women.”
Some from the belief that we must fit someone else’s idea of power.
Performance leadership looks like:
🔹 Saying things we don’t yet know how to live
🔹 Looking polished while feeling disconnected
🔹 Centering reputation instead of transformation
🔹 Preaching empowerment while quietly comparing ourselves
🔹 Mistaking visibility for leadership
This is not failure. This is feedback.
And if we allow it to be, we can make that performance become the moment before transformation. In other words, once we own the act, and choose to do the work that will get us to real leadership, we can use the performance as information and feedback. More on that later.
In the IMverse, we call this the place where truth begins its refining work.
Black woman in her 30s sits at a small table at night with a laptop and journal, her hand hovering over the trackpad as a soft copper-gold glow gathers around her heart and hand and thin lines of light pause toward the laptop, journal, and window, capturing the quiet hesitation that signals misalignment before it becomes a crisis.
How Misalignment Shows Up — and What It Reveals
Before misalignment becomes a crisis, it shows itself in the places where our spirit hesitates. A tug. A tightening. A knowing. In the IMverse, we treat those moments not as failures but as signals—indicators that part of our story needs tending, healing, or recalibration. When we read those signals with compassion, the path to alignment becomes clearer.
When fear is leading…
→ We avoid the risks our calling requires.
When ego wounds are leading…
→ We’d rather look right than be real.
When insecurity is leading…
→ We compete instead of collaborate.
When unhealed story is leading…
→ We forget that nothing’s wasted.
But this isn’t shame.
This is reclamation — reclaiming leadership, truth, power.
Black woman in her 40s sits on the floor of a dim workspace at night, blazer and heels discarded, surrounded by papers and a laptop as shattered pieces of glowing glass-like armor lie around her and a small copper-gold flame rises from her chest, showing the collapse of performance leadership and the first glimpse of true inner power that can lead to alignment.”
The Real Cost of Performing Leadership
We can perform leadership for a long time before we realize what it’s costing us. Performance feels familiar; it mirrors what we’ve been taught, what we’ve survived, and what we think we must be to belong in certain rooms. But in the IMverse, performance is simply a sign that something in us is asking to be alchemized—asked to transition from image to embodiment.
Performance leadership feels safe until it collapses.
🔥 Burnout
🔥 Loneliness
🔥 Disconnection
🔥 Imposter syndrome
🔥 A widening gap between who we are and who we pretend to be
Sometimes we don’t even know we’re performing. We’ve worn strength so long it became a costume.
The moment we see it clearly?
We are free to choose alignment.
Alignment is where leadership becomes sustainable.
Black woman in her 30s with a twist-out stands barefoot in a warm loft, one hand over her heart and the other relaxed at her side as cracked glass-like armor of light melts and breaks away into copper-gold dust, while small glowing symbols for reclamation, refinement, resilience, and alchemy orbit her head and chest, showing her shift from performance to presence.
The Shift: From Performance to Presence
Every Infamous Mother must ask:
Where am I leading from authenticity — and where am I still performing?
This question does not shame us. It centers us.
Infamous Mothers leadership includes:
Truth
Contradiction
Resilience
Refinement
Alchemy
Reclamation
Rhythm
Power
We conjure futures from lived experience. We tell the truth, and truth transforms. We lead from the IMverse — where freedom has infrastructure.
Black woman in her 30s with natural curls stands barefoot on a circular rug in a warm loft as four glowing copper-gold symbols—an open-heart keyhole, separating circles, a rooted vertical line, and an upward spiral—form a circle around her and connect to her feet and heart, representing four ways to step into authentic leadership while other Black women watch from the edges of the room.
Four Ways to Step Into Authentic Leadership
1. Tell the Truth About Your Intentions
Truth clears the air.
Honesty lightens the load.
Ask yourself:
What do I want my leadership to make possible?
Where am I aligned?
Where am I performing?
What truth have I outgrown?
Honesty creates capacity.
2. Shift from Comparison to Calling
Comparison shrinks us. Calling expands us.
Infamous Mothers leadership is not imitation. It is innovation, reclamation, alchemy.
3. Build Authority Through Alignment
Authority doesn’t come from:
❌ Perfect posts
❌ Perfect voice
❌ Perfect image
Authority grows from:
✔ Courage
✔ Storytelling as strategy
✔ Consistency
✔ Integrity
✔ Impact
4. Invest in Your Becoming
Leadership is a practice — not a performance. And it’s critical that we consistently do the work to develop our leadership skills. Here’s what that looks like:
Read widely.
Study hard.
Reflect deeply.
Rest well.
Get coached.
Get challenged.
Build structure.
Build rhythm.
Build capacity.
Alignment becomes power.
Dr. Sagashus inviting you into the IMverse through the Wanted Newsletter or coaching.
Leadership Isn’t Performance — It’s Presence That Transforms Rooms
I don’t want to look like I have the answers.
I want to seek them with courage.
I don’t want to perform strength.
I want to embody it.
Infamous Mothers leadership resets rooms.
We disrupt and dominate with integrity.
We evoke truth.
We conjure possibility.
We reclaim story.
We forge new ways of leading.
We alchemize everything — because nothing’s wasted.
This is leadership born in truth, forged in fire, guided by vision.
Reflection Questions for the Week
🔥 Where does your leadership feel most aligned?
🔥 Where are you ready to release performance?
🔥 What small courageous act could shift everything?
Infamy is not a stain — it’s a strategy. And the world needs leaders who understand that deeply.
If you’re ready to cultivate leadership rooted in authenticity, alignment, and power, the I.N.F.A.M³.O.U.S. Method℠ is where your next chapter begins.
A woman sitting with herself, reflecting on the questions that surfaced from what she just read.
FAQ Section
What is authentic leadership for women?
Authentic leadership is grounded in truth, alignment, and lived experience. For Infamous Mothers, authenticity includes our stories, scars, boundaries, brilliance, and contradictions — all held with integrity.
How do I know if I’m performing leadership instead of embodying it?
You may feel disconnected, exhausted, overly polished, or hyper-focused on being seen. Embodied leadership feels aligned, grounded, present, and impactful.
What makes Infamous Mothers leadership unique?
It integrates storytelling as strategy, alchemizes lived experience into wisdom, and centers women whose leadership was earned — not handed out.
How can mothers grow in leadership while carrying heavy stories?
By honoring their truth, investing in their growth, building supportive structures, and leading from presence rather than performance.
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers