Speaking of Faking…When It Comes to Our Pleasure, Yeah, No, We Don’t Fake That
“The Stage Is Hers”: Black woman center stage under a spotlight, standing tall and powerful, symbolizing women stepping into their light.
There comes a moment where a woman gets tired—tired of pretending, tired of performing, tired of making everybody else comfortable while she disappears into the background. That’s the moment you start telling the truth. In the IMverse, authenticity isn’t a brand or an aesthetic. It’s a practice. A rhythm. A returning. A refusal to trade your Becoming for anybody’s comfort.
And listen… when it comes to pleasure?
We don’t fake that.
Last time, I shared a quote that hit me in my chest.
This time, here’s the full line:
🔥 “Women fake motherhood like we fake orgasms.”
Excuse me?
Did they choose violence and revelation in the same sentence?
Because they weren’t wrong.
🔥 We fake enjoyment.
🔥 We fake satisfaction.
🔥 We fake “I’m good” when our souls are whispering, Sis, you’re starving.
And the bigger question is:
Why do we keep pretending we’re fulfilled when we’re not?
The Performance We’ve Mastered
Let’s tell the truth.
We’re trained performers. Not the stage kind — the survival kind.
Sometimes we fake it to get back to our favorite show.
Sometimes we fake it because we’re tired and want to be done.
Sometimes we fake it because asking for more feels like asking for too much.
But here’s the thing:
Just because we can fake it doesn’t mean we should.
Just because we can move on quickly doesn’t mean we’re being honored.
🔥 You deserve real pleasure.
🔥 You deserve real satisfaction.
🔥 You deserve the full experience — not the watered-down version.
If you’re here, inside this infamous community, you already know “bare minimum” is beneath you.
SIDE BAR: 💭 Sis, You Deserve to Feel Good
Listen…Don’t feel guilty for wanting ease, comfort and fulfillment in your life.
Sis, you deserve to feel good —
in your skin, in your spirit, in the quiet places nobody sees.
Your joy is not too much.
Your desire is not demanding.
Your pleasure is not a problem.
It’s your birthright.
“The Weight of Doubt” — A Visual Story of Imposter Syndrome: A comic book–style illustration showing a golden balance scale. On one side, stacks of books, diplomas, and a trophy represent success. On the other side, a smaller, anxious Black woman with chocolate-brown skin and natural hair sits in a pan labeled “DOUBT.” The warm orange lighting and deep shadows highlight the emotional contrast, symbolizing how imposter syndrome makes doubt feel heavier than achievement.
Building a Mothering Practice That Doesn’t Demand Martyrdom
Part of what makes mothers infamous in the IMverse is simple:
We refuse to be martyrs.
We refuse the script that says:
Be grateful.
Be quiet.
Be perfect.
Be small.
We were taught that motherhood means erasing our pleasure.
But that’s not a mothering practice — that’s a prison.
Infamous Mothering says:
🔥 A mother who experiences joy is not indulgent — she’s a blueprint.
🔥 A mother who honors her body teaches her children how to honor theirs.
🔥 A mother who refuses to fake fulfillment is raising a liberated generation.
We stop shrinking.
We stop pretending.
We stop performing “good mother” when our insides are breaking.
Because martyrdom isn’t motherhood.
It’s erasure.
“The Fear of Falling”: A woman climbs a glowing ladder toward the words “You Earned This,” while shadowy hands labeled expectations and failure reach from below.
Where Else Are We Faking Pleasure?
If we’re faking it in the bedroom, we’re faking it everywhere else.
🔥 At work
Smiling through exhaustion.
Acting “grateful” for crumbs.
Pretending toxic culture is normal.
🔥 In relationships
Taking half-effort like it’s holy.
Accepting surface-level love.
Avoiding conversations that could change everything.
🔥 In our lives
Saying “I’m fine.”
Pretending we don’t want more.
Swallowing our desires to keep the peace.
We become experts at performing contentment…and novices at experiencing joy.
And then we wonder why we feel disconnected, numb, resentful.
Because when the performance becomes the habit, you lose the sound of your own desire.
“The Loop”: Several versions of a woman run in a loop labeled “Prove Yourself Again,” symbolizing burnout from imposter syndrome.
The Cost of Faking It
Faking it costs us more than telling the truth ever will.
🔥 It numbs our bodies.
🔥 It disconnects us from our needs.
🔥 It makes us tolerate situations we should have left.
🔥 It trains us to celebrate crumbs.
🔥 It turns us into high-functioning impostors in our own lives.
Infamous women don’t do that anymore.
We don’t perform wholeness — we build it.
“You Built This”: A woman stands before a glowing city made of bricks labeled faith, vision, and discipline, symbolizing success built through effort.
The Infamous Mother Metric: Redefining Success
Success used to be about being perfect at everything — motherhood, partnerships, careers, looks, home, all of it — without ever being seen sweating.
But that version of success isn’t ours.
It was handed to us broken.
The Infamous Mother Metric says:
🔥 Alignment over appearance
🔥 Boundaries over burnout
🔥 Presence over perfection
🔥 Pleasure over performance
🔥 Legacy over likes
When you build your mothering practice on truth, pleasure becomes part of the curriculum.
The “Dirty Woman” Meaning (Reclaimed)
Let’s talk about “dirty.”
Around here, dirty isn’t an insult.
It’s an initiation.
Dirty means:
🔥 You speak truth instead of performing purity.
🔥 You honor your desire instead of denying it.
🔥 You embrace the parts of your story they told you to bury.
🔥 You refuse to sanitize yourself for other people’s comfort.
Dirty is honest.
Dirty is whole.
Dirty is free.
We don’t do holy-without-human.
We do both.
Micro-Rebellions That Shift Everything
Ready for something real?
Here are a few places to start:
Work
🔥 Document your impact.
🔥 Negotiate boldly.
🔥 Say, “Here’s the support that aligns with my capacity.”
Relationships
🔥 Name the gap out loud.
🔥 Require full presence.
🔥 Choose on purpose, not from fear.
Your calendar
🔥 Delete three obligations.
🔥 Add three pleasures.
🔥 Put your body on your schedule.
Mothering
🔥 Teach boundaries and consent — yours and theirs.
🔥 Model aliveness over martyrdom.
🔥 Practice repair instead of perfection.
These are the small rebellions that shift whole lives.
The Ripple Effect
When you stop faking pleasure, your life expands.
Your clarity sharpens.
Your standards rise.
Your joy becomes louder than your performance.
You teach people how to treat you by refusing to fake it for their benefit.
You lead without apology.
You love without pretending.
You mother without martyring.
Here, pleasure is not a luxury.
It’s information.
It’s instruction.
It’s inheritance.
The Infamous Choice
Being infamous means:
🔥 Not faking it ’til you make it
🔥 Making it ’til you make it
🔥 Letting your truth outlive your performance
🔥 Refusing to shrink your desire
🔥 Letting pleasure be part of your power
We don’t pretend to be fulfilled.
We choose to be.
The Challenge
What’s one thing you’re going to stop faking today?
Choose one:
🔥 A boundary
🔥 A need
🔥 A desire
🔥 A conversation
🔥 A “no”
🔥 A “yes”
Claim one thing fully, out loud, without apology.
And tell me what you chose.
Because you’re not just doing this for you — you’re rewriting the script for every woman watching.
Dr. Sagashus inviting you into the IMverse through the Wanted Newsletter or coaching.
FAQ SECTION
Q: How does mothering practice show up in my daily choices?
By refusing martyrdom, centering your needs, modeling consent, building systems that honor you, and mothering from truth instead of depletion.
Q: What does redefining success look like practically?
It looks like alignment, presence, rest, joy, boundaries, and a life that feels good on the inside—not just curated on the outside.
Q: What is the “dirty woman meaning” in the IMverse?
It’s reclamation. It means owning your story, your power, your desire, and your truth without sanitizing yourself for the world.
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers