This Ain’t Even My Signature: Reclaiming the Real Me

A strong woman with chocolate-colored skin, a big twist-out, and linen pants stands with arms crossed. Labels reading “NONPROFIT” and “BLACK WOMEN ONLY” are stamped on her arms; one she peels away while the other burns. Megaphones point at her from behind as she resists being mislabeled.

When I launched Infamous Mothers, people kept calling it a nonprofit for Black women—even though I kept saying it wasn’t.

Yes, it centered the voices of Black women, but Infamous Mothers wasn’t exclusive. It was for any mother who had been judged, dismissed, overlooked, exiled—and yet still managed to come back and do something extraordinary.

It was supposed to be the great equalizer—a space where women of all races and classes could bond over the parts of ourselves that weren’t welcome in “respectable” spaces while also building a network around our successes, goals, and dreams.

But the media couldn’t imagine any other women as Infamous.

And I didn’t know how to articulate my vision louder than they did—because, at times, I wasn’t even sure how to fight for it.

But what I was clear about? We weren’t a nonprofit. And that I fought for.

Because when someone keeps telling your story wrong—when people stamp your name on something that doesn’t align with who you are—you have two choices:

🔥 Let them redefine you.
🔥 Or reclaim your name.

Illustration of a woman with pecan-colored skin and long hair standing in front of two mirrors. In one, styled as a Facebook profile frame, she appears polished and smiling, wearing a cami, blazer, jeans, and white tennis shoes. In the other mirror, her real self is reflected: barefaced, heavier, tired, and wearing just a cami and jeans, with a weary expression.

The Identity You Never Signed Off On

A forged signature means someone signed your name onto something without your permission—binding you to an agreement you never consented to.

And here’s the thing: Forgery isn’t just about contracts and documents—it happens to identities, too.

It happens when people, systems, and expectations put you in a box, hand you a label, or assign you a path that you never actually chose.

🔥 Think about it:

1. When Someone Decides What You Believe & Think—Without Asking You

It’s not just that they assume what you believe.
It’s that they tell other people what you believe.
And suddenly, you’re arguing about something you never even said.

🔹 You’re at a family gathering, and someone says, “You know how she feels about this.” → But you’ve never spoken on it.

🔹 You hear your partner say, “Oh, she doesn’t care about that kind of stuff.” → But actually, you do—you just never felt safe enough to say it.

🔹 You’re at work, and a colleague says, “She’s totally on board with this.” → But you were never even consulted.

⏩ The Forgery: People assume authority over your thoughts and values without your permission.
⏩ The Impact: You find yourself attached to beliefs, decisions, or ideologies you never actually signed up for.

And worse? People start treating you accordingly.

2. When Someone Volunteers You for a Role You Didn’t Choose

Sometimes, you don’t realize you’ve been assigned a role until you try to step outside of it.

🔹 In your family, you’re always the responsible one—the fixer, the mediator, the one who makes sure everyone else is okay.
→ But what happens when you need help?
→ What happens when you want to put yourself first?

🔹 At work, you’re the one who always steps up—the one who gets things done, the one who covers for the team, the one who fills in the gaps.
→ But what happens when you say no?
→ What happens when the workload is too much, but everyone assumes you can handle it?

🔹 In your relationship, you’re the one who is easygoing, flexible, supportive.
→ But what happens when you start making real demands?
→ What happens when you don’t just go with the flow but start steering the damn ship?

And suddenly, people don’t like this new version of you.
Because they didn’t see you as a person—they saw you as a function.

⏩ The Forgery: Your time, energy, and effort were committed by someone else, without your approval.
⏩ The Impact: You feel obligated to follow through on something you never actually wanted.

And by the time you realize you never agreed to it, you’re too deep in the role to just walk away.

3. When Someone Writes a Script for Your Life That You Never Approved

🔹 Your parents always said, “She’s going to be a doctor.”
→ But was that ever your dream?

🔹 Your family always called you “the responsible one.”
→ But do you want that responsibility, or was it just handed to you?

🔹 People always said, “She’s so strong.”
→ But does that mean you never get to be soft?

🔹 You’ve always been the provider, the protector, the one who holds it all together.
→ But what if you’re tired?

Somewhere along the way, someone wrote a script for your life.
Someone put a pen in your hand and told you to read your lines.
And now? You’re just trying to find a way to rip up the script.

⏩ The Forgery: Someone wrote a life plan for you, signed your name at the bottom, and handed it to you as if you agreed.
⏩ The Impact: You wake up living a life that was pre-decided for you—and now you have to fight to take it back.

A woman encased in heavy, gray steel armor that is cracked in several places. From the cracks, glowing orange flowers and green leaves emerge, symbolizing softness and healing breaking through the hardness.

🔥 What Happens When You Wake Up & Realize Your Name Has Been Signed on Things You Never Consented To?

For some of us, that realization is jarring.

Our first instinct? Defensiveness.
🔥 What do you mean this isn’t my real life?
🔥 What do you mean I never actually agreed to this?
🔥 What do you mean I can walk away?

At first, we fight to hold on to the life we know—not because it serves us, but because it’s all we’ve ever known.

But over time, fear turns into realization.

Damn…
🔥 I’ve been performing, not living.
🔥 I’ve been carrying responsibilities I never chose.
🔥 I’ve been playing a role in a script someone else wrote for me.

And then? It hits even harder.

Your freedom hasn’t been your own.
And while true freedom is terrifying—so terrifying that a part of you wants to cling to the predictability of the life you know—there’s another part of you that whispers:

🔥 What if you actually lived on your own terms?
🔥 What if you put your own, original mark on the world—unapologetically?

And so, you do the only thing left to do.

🔥 You break the contract.
🔥 You reclaim your name.
🔥 You live life on your own terms.

Because you realize something powerful:
Your signature is unique.
And it deserves to shine.

Illustration of a floating peacefully in a large round pool on her estate. She wears a burnt orange two-piece bikini, her eyes closed with a joyful expression. Glowing golden threads weave across her arms and torso, symbolizing healing and repair as she rests.

🔥 Next Steps: Questions to Consider

1️⃣ What’s been placed on you that you never agreed to?
2️⃣ Who benefits from you fulfilling this role or belief?
3️⃣ What will it take to void the contract and reclaim your true identity?

And now? It’s time to decide.

🔥 Your name. Your truth. Your life. Signed only by you.

Real image of Dr. Sagashus Levingston with a little class and sass as she invites you to sign up for the Wanted Newsletter.

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ABOUT THE BLOGGER

Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.

Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers